Strategy Session, Part 1

Not to sounds like a total Duhigg-bot, but The Power of Habit tells me that I am much more likely to be successful if I have a plan for the potential obstacles I may encounter when I try to change my habits.  Let the strategy session commence!

Habit #1: The Snooze Button

The first obstacle to this habit appeared this morning.  When the alarm went off at 5:25 this morning, I was greeted with windows full of gloom and the sound of rain beating against my window.  For some people, and I have always been one of them, rain is my Kryptonite.  Not only does it make my hair frizz and my mascara run, but it makes me want to curl up into a tiny ball under a blanket with a hot drink and a chick flick.  Not exactly the response that will help me pop out of bed and power into a new habit!

When I am facing the prospect of crawling out of a warm bed into a cold, rainy morning, I will remind myself that I have to get up anyway.  As I am not a major league baseball player, I can’t call out of work because of rain.  And even if I were a major league baseball player, school doesn’t close when it’s raining, so I still have to drag myself out of bed eventually to get the kids ready for school.  So really, if I have to get up anyway, why delay?  Why not get up and get moving?  It might shake me out of my rainy day blahs.  And if it doesn’t, I will remind myself, I have permission to curl up in a blanket after work.

Another hurdle I will face in changing this habit is the sleep patterns of my children.  God, I love my kids, but they did not inherit any of their parents’ love for sleep.  I often awake in the middle of the night with a little face looming over me, asking “Mommy, is it good morning time?” or “Mommy, it’s dark and I’m scared.  Can you sit in my room with me?”  Even if I can convince a little nipper to head back to bed without an escort, it’s still a sleep disruption.  Once I’m awake, I have a terrible habit of keeping myself awake with thoughts of unfinished projects or worries.  Some days, I find that when my alarm clock goes off, my eyelids are still glued closed, crying in exhaustion over my broken and unfulfilling sleep.

How will I overcome this hurdle?  I will make sure to shake my husband awake more often.  There are many nights where I let him sleep, knowing that he stayed up later than I did, or that he didn’t have a great sleep the night before.  Just because I happen to be the parent the kids have come to doesn’t mean that I have to be the parent to get up.  Besides, if my husband is shouldering a larger share of the night shift, he will be more apt to work with me to help the kids change their own nighttime patterns.  Win-win!

The final hurdle to overcome is just the habit of snoozing itself: letting my drowsy brain slap down the 8 minute time out button instead of starting my day.  Weirdly, this will be the easiest of my hurdles to overcome, because I know I can do it.  I’ve done it before, daily, for long periods of time.  This is a little thing in the grand scheme of my life, an easy thing to take ownership of.  An easy win, if you will.

I know bigger battles are coming, so I will take these easy wins where I can get them.

I Can Do This

One thing I learned from The Power of Habit is that in order to change a habit, you have to understand it.  What is the cue that triggers the habit, and what is the reward that the habit provides?  So much of what I do every day is just automatic, I do feel that I am cruising through most of my life on autopilot.  In order to be more fully engaged in my world, I have to start to recognize those "autopilot" moments, especially those that have a negative impact.

The more I start to think about my habits, and where I can improve them, the more overwhelmed I get.  There are so many things I do in a day, for work, for school, for my kids, for my husband...when I think about trying to do a complete overhaul, I become paralyzed with exhaustion.  This has always been the case, which is why I'm here in the first place.

Instead of thinking about all of the things I do "wrong" in a day, this time I am going to start small, and recognize that, for me, there is no one magic "reset button" that will erase all my bad habits and lethargy with vim and vigor.  Instead, I am going to focus on two habits that I want to change, and go from there.

Habit #1:  The Snooze Button

My alarm is set for 5:25am.  For a long time, months even, I actually got up out of bed immediately when it went off.  The extra time in the morning allowed me to blowdry and straighten my hair and apply some makeup before descending into the craziness of my family's morning: serving breakfasts, making lunches, power struggles with my 3 year old daughter about getting dressed, searching my 6 year old's backpack for hidden contraband.  Getting up at the sound of my alarm helped me to set aside some time for myself amid the chaos, making me feel more put together and ready for my day instead of like a frazzled mess with wet hair stuck in a ponytail and toothpaste dribbles on the front of my sweater.

And then we had to "Spring Forward".  That first "Spring Forward" Monday morning, I couldn't bear to open my eyes at the sound of the alarm clock.  I hit snooze instead.  Then I hit snooze again.  I hit snooze until it was past 6am, and I absolutely had to get up, or be late for work.  It felt so good, I did it the next morning, and the next, and the next.  Now, even though my alarm is still set virtuously to 5:25am, I always hit snooze, and live with my wet hair.

The first habit I am committed to changing is hitting the snooze button on my day.  I would like to get up at 5:25.  This is something I know I can do, because I've done it before.  I am going to get up every morning at the first sound of my alarm, and instead of snoozing, I am going to head downstairs to do 10 minutes of exercise before I climb in the shower to start my day.  I know 10 minutes doesn't sound like a lot, but if I can do 10 minutes of activity instead of 10 minutes of sleeping, I will have accomplished my first small goal.

Habit #2: DP

Not long ago, someone in my acquaintance mentioned in conversation that "Soda is soon going to be considered the new crack."  I didn't respond at the time, but I certainly had plenty of commentary in my head.

I'm a soda drinker.  My drug of choice is Diet Pepsi, which my husband and I lovingly refer to as "DP".  I've tried to give up soda in the past, only to find myself beset with caffeine headaches and crankypants syndrome.  In the end, I've always gone crawling back to soda, and in the back of my mind, I've always known I would.

However, as much as I resented my soda habit being compared to that of a crack addict, the reality is I know soda is really not good: full of empty calories and additives.  There's a reason my children are not allowed to have it!  While I do crave the caffeine fix I get from an afternoon soda, there's really nothing that I get from it that's not purely psychological. 

The second small habit I'm committed to change is to give up on my daily DP.  I will save money, save calories, and give myself another small win in my quest to change my habits.

So there you go.  Two small changes in my life, neither one so overwhelming that I will be completely at a loss, both which will improve my overall health.  Ican do this.  I can do this.

I can do this.

Damn you, Charles Duhigg!

It begins, like most things in my life, with a book.

Over the weekend, I read Charles Duhigg's The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. It was an interesting book for many reasons, but I can't stop thinking about the book's final chapter. In it, Duhigg poses the question that has been living in my head: once we are aware of our bad habits, do we have a responsibility to change them?

I know all about my bad habits.  I bite my nails, I eat too fast, and I never make the bed, but those are not the things that have kept Charles Duhigg's question ringing in my head.  As I sit here in my bed, typing this and mulling things over, I am about 60 pounds over the weight I'd like to be, and closer to 80 pounds over the recommended weight for my height.

Jesus, 80 pounds.  Looking at it in print like that is completely horrifying.  The funny thing about weight is that it creeps on, a little here, a little there, and before you know it, you're hyperventilating at a number on the screen.  But I digress...

Anyway, I know that I have bad habits.  My diet is terrible, and I very rarely (may as well say never) exercise.  But wait!! an inner voice protests.  You work full time, go to school part time, and have two young children and a husband you'd like to see once in a while!  Better quality food is expensive, and you already have no time to cook!  These things are all true, and they are things I've told myself again and again, listing all the reasons I can't make a change. 

If we are aware of our bad habits, do we have a responsibility to change them?  I am starting to believe that I do, and because of that, I am committing myself to a course of change.  Using the strategies in The Power of Habit, and any other tricks I can find, I am going to overwrite my bad habits, and lead a healthier life.

Damn you, Charles Duhigg.